This is my journey
My journey to a second child started back in 2008 when I was sent to the hospital to have emergency bowel surgery. The surgery I had didn’t go smoothly, and there were a few complications that sadly resulted in my infertility. Later down the track, I would have a fallopian tube removed, in the hopes it would increase my chances of conceiving.
My daughter was only six months old at the time, but I already knew I wanted to give her a sibling. I knew back then that the path to another baby would be a struggle. When my daughter was around 1 1/2 years old, my husband and I decided to start trying for another little person. We had been hoping to get pregnant naturally for a while, but we weren’t having any luck. So, we went to our GP to see what could be done and what was happening - and he referred us to Fertility Associates where they said we would likely need a round of IVF.
But my Marriage ended, and my journey to bubs #2 was postponed until a few years later when I met my partner and we headed down the fertility road together as a fresh start.
After not conceiving for a very long time, we booked a consultation with Fertility Associates. We had all the tests done such as AMH/HSG, family medical history, and ultrasounds. We then started IVF. The very first cycle, I was scared as hell. But curious. Scared because of the unknown. I had no first-hand knowledge on how treatment would go or how I would feel, or how the meds would affect me.
But another roadblock stopped me, my partner and I separated - so it felt like I was back to square one. I love my daughter to no end, but I also yearned for years to have 2 children, and I'm glad my stubborn nature didn't give up. I decided to go ahead with fertility treatment but using a donor sperm.
The cycles on my own, I was so excited and really looking forward to getting started. But then getting a negative blood test is always hard to handle and cope with, but my first positive test in 12yrs trumps all of the negatives, by a mile. In total, I did IVF with ICSI for all 4 cycles. But got the best result ever on my last cycle with a sperm donor and 5 embryos frozen. My very 1st thawed transfer worked... I did this as soon as our complete lockdown levels changed last year.
My biggest challenge
The biggest challenge was definitely all the needles involved in IVF treatment. I have such a massive needle phobia, and never gave myself any of the hormone injections. My awesome cousin Laura did every single shot for me, every night at 9pm, she was so brilliant. I am just SO grateful for Emla numbing cream!
Everyone I told about my donor journey was amazing. But by far my daughter is my biggest supporter. She came with me to most appointments, even the 7week scan when she got to see her little brother for the 1st time. I am so thankful to my Aunty, Uncle, Cousin Laura, my colleagues, friends, & other family members. Even customers at work would always ask how everything was going.
Even though I was a patient, I never ever felt like just a number. I had Dr Michelle Bailey in Christchurch - and I found her to be absolutely fantastic. She saw me grow over the few years, into a confident and brave woman when it came to each appointment, egg collection, transfer & needles.
I have panic attacks, and she even told me how much she has seen me change, especially when I did my 1st thawed embryo transfer, which became my son. She said, “there's not even a bead of sweat on your brow”. My kids and I have called into FA in Christchurch when we have been up and Michelle even got to meet and snuggle William - such an amazing moment for me. The clinic team are so welcoming, warm, supportive, answer any questions, and are just a great bunch of ladies - I am very grateful to them.
On the 2 cycle, as a single woman, I had a clinic donor. The same one for both rounds. My 13yro daughter helped me select him, and she is very happy her little brother has blue eyes like her.
My advice to hopeful Mums
I would definitely encourage them to at least make an appointment with FA, to discuss their options, and to get their AMH tested to see where they stand and go from there. It's also a great opportunity to ask a lot of questions if you have them.
If I had to give any advice for someone going through donor sperm treatment it would be to try to stay open-minded. Your cycles may not go smoothly, and it may not work the first cycle/transfer, but keep your spirits up, try to remain positive, and talk about what's going on, to your best friend, family, don't stay locked in your head, keep communication open.
IVF is hard work, mentally and physically. Be prepared to have emotional moments, you're allowed them and you're allowed to have teary moments! Ask questions, because honestly, with this whole infertility journey and treatment- you will learn so much & become quite impressed with your knowledge.
Dealing with infertility is hard in itself, but know, that you will have a lot of support from your family and friends, as well as your Fertility Associates Team... keep your head held high, and eventually (hopefully) all your blood, sweat, and tears will be well worth it when you get to hold your baby in your arms. You're allowed teary moments but make sure you have a big glass of water afterward, to flush everything away. You can do this!
My heart is full
After all the tough years of infertility, life is going to be absolutely amazing. I have an awesome 13yr old daughter who is a great big sister, and a 7month old little boy, who adores her just as much as I love them both. Doing this as a single mum has been so rewarding, personally, for me. Because I can see all the positives around me, and my heart just swells with pride for both my children... I wish for William (and Amy) to lead happy and healthy lives, to be kind to others, and always say please and thank you. I hope they do good at school and look after those around them. My heart is so full of love for Amy and William and I am forever grateful for every ounce of help I've been given to get to my end goal - a second baby.
Best wishes from Courtney, Amy, & William xx
